We often talk about change as being a modern concept. Philosopher Heraclitus who was born 535BC said “there is nothing as constant as change” so not so modern. More that change is part of life and is needed for our growth and development.
When we explore the impacts of change we often focus on the negative impacts. Change can also bring opportunities and open up options. How many people do you know who have gone through a change and now say “it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me”?
Change can be those unexpected and external events that seem to land on us from nowhere. Redundancy, a medical diagnosis, a bereavement or end of a relationship. It feels natural to be shaken up and out of sorts to say the least. We also often instigate a change in our own lives, being promoted, moving house, ending or starting a relationship, getting married or becoming a parent to name a few.
We can be surprised that having attained the thing for which we have wished and planned that we feel out of sorts and shaken up. If we know that this is a natural state and describe it as a period of chaos then it can make a lot more sense.
Here we are in our world it is familiar, and change happens. The change can be unexpected or planned. We go into a period of chaos, feeling out of sorts, unbalanced. It is like a wave rocking a boat and we need to find our sea legs. So we practice what we need to do to find our balance. Wobbling less and less as we practice new ways of finding and keeping our balance. Then before we know it everything is familiar again, the sea calm.
Here are five tips to help you whilst you are in a period of change and to find your balance
- Control – in any situation of change focus on what you can control. If you are focusing on things that are outside of your control then you are more likely to feel overwhelmed. For example if I am selling a house I can do all the things to let people know the house is for sale, make it attractive and easy to view. I can know the price I will accept and be ready to move when I accept an offer. I cannot control who will view, what offers I receive or if people choose to withdraw offers. I can also influence and encourage the estate agents to make sure they are sending buyers my way and are promoting my property.
- Hear the advice you are giving to others – what are you saying all the time to friends, colleagues and family. “You should leave work on time”,”Take some time for yourself”,”Stop saying yes to everyone”. Your unconscious mind has a way of letting you know what you need!
- Equip yourself and know what you want – we are very good at knowing what we don’t want and rather less able to know what we do want. Take time out to shape a picture of what you want. You can literally do this by collecting images and inspiring words and quotes to develop the picture of what you want and keep it in a place you see frequently, your fridge, back of the bathroom door. When you know what you want understand what you skills and resources you need to achieve it.
- Energy that is focused on what you can do and what you want will go further. Recharging and relaxing is very important to your wellbeing. A simple tip is that every time you plug your phone into recharge also take 10 minutes out to recharge yourself. Take three deep breaths, stretch, if you can do this outside and look up at the sky, trees and rooftops all the better.
- Recognise your progress and reward yourself regularly. Keep to do lists short. A never ending to-do list that never ends, is draining. Try a focused list with no more than ten things on a list and enjoy turning your to-do list into a to-done list. Reward yourself with small favourite things regularly a cup of tea, a walk around the garden, a dance to a favourite song to celebrate you achievements.
Remember to CHEER when things are changing for you, keep confident and stay well.